10.24.2004 @ 2:24 pm
So Lauren and I went to New Hope yesterday. It was nice despite the rain. AnneMarie, Caitlyn and Charity were supposed to go too but they got held up and it was just us. We hit just about every store there. Pizza was in order for lunch and it was yummy so we're gonna have to go back there again.
So I got it in my head about how much time we've been spending together. And I wanted to do something about it. I wanted to do it right. So I brought her down by the water where the ducks are and asked the big question - What do you want from me? Without going into detail here, lets just say that mostly she told me she's happy with how things are and doesn't want to change anything. She doesn't want to be my girlfriend. So that's that.
Yeah I know this is a big change from 2 months ago when I was raving on about Nicole, but things have changed. Nicole freaked out and got scared and told me she didn't want to hang out with me so much because she thought I was getting too attached. So I stopped spending so much time with Nicole and started spending that time with Lauren. It's not something that we looked for or expected or planned. It kinda just happened. Back in August. On her front porch. When I threatened to kiss her and went through with it.
So that's how things started out. And this is how things are. Can't blame me for trying, right? I mean technically, I haven't been in a relationship since I broke it off with Coll back in September of 2001. Yeah, Squirt and I were together on and off for a year and a half - but we both agreed that it was something we wanted, something we needed and it was never a serious relationship though in the beginning of it we tried to mask it as one.
So I guess we'll see what happens from here. Lauren's stayed the night and went home today. I may go see Nicole and hang out with her for a while. I dunno. I mean, if I'm honest with myself - I could say it's a spiteful thing to do, but on the other hand things are clear with us - meaning nothing has changed, so why should things change with Nicole. Ehh, I dunno. Another one for the mystery books I suppose.
. . .where i've been // where i'm going. . .
08.02.2005 - Untitled
07.20.2005 - Obligitory link
07.03.2005 - till then
06.16.2005 - Multi-bulleted Update
06.16.2005 - Coldplay, 'Green Eyes'